Women have heard it all before: ‘Do you come here often?’ ‘What’s your sign?’ ‘Did it hurt…When you fell from heaven?’ and, the classic: ‘Nice shoes…’ Every woman has been to a bar and has been told by some slurring entity ‘hey, you’re really beyutiful’ while he stares unabashedly at her bosom/bottom, etc. In order to combat the stereotype of the uncouth boor at the bar, here are some ideas of how you might creatively approach the fairer sex:

Present a Challenge

When you’re out and about, instead of walking up and stuttering ‘Hi…Um…My name is…How are you?’ try appealing to her competitive side. For example, if there is a stack of napkins next to her, see if you can’t get her to guess how many napkins are in the stack. Whoever comes closer to the actual number gets a free drink from the not-so-accurate guesser.

Send Over An…Appetizer

Instead of the usual apple martini, try selecting a nice appetizer to send over to the apple of your eye and her friends. When you send over a drink, that is that; the drink is sent over and you might not hear from her again. However, if you have sent over an appetizer, you might feel more comfortable making your way over and sharing one of the tasty treats. If nothing else, you can start a conversation about food (local restaurants, etc.)generally speaking, women love to talk about delicious food.

Offer to Let Her Buy You a Drink

Any woman can find a guy at the bar who will offer to buy her a drink. Sometimes a gal will even let the guy buy her a drinkand then ditch the guy. But many women find this outdated (pun intended), as women are completely capable of purchasing their own drinking beverages. So if you approach her and casually say, “Hey, Let you buy me a drink!” she might appreciate the new play on the old line. And, at the very least, you might even score yourself a free drink!

Humor

A propos of the above approach, try using humor whenever possible. It keeps the mood light and no one feels any pressure. If you’re not a natural comedian, try watching some stand-up routines, and, without borrowing anyone’s material, take note of the way that most jokes are told best: Calmly. If you’ve never met a girl before, try asking her casually “So…Did you miss me?” Or maybe inquire hopefully if the drink she’s enjoying is making you better looking? The most important thing to remember when using humor and good wit: Smile.

Appeal to the Little Girl Who Wants to be Spoiled

Deep down, many will argue, many women are just dying to be treated like precious little girls. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are talking down to her (or she might feel, quite literally, belittled), but keep in mind that, sure, all women do remember being little girls, being tickled and teased. If you’re good at teasing, then this method might be your forte. Maybe offer to buy her the moon, a pony; feel free to be outrageous and say silly things, anything to get her to giggle.

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‘Who are you and where does the world come from?’

The biggest complaint that the fairer sex has about men is that, you guessed it, men don’t listen. Let me repeat that (in case you weren’t paying attention): Men don’t listen. So before you impress yourself and bore your would-be gal with your own nonsense, sit down and come up with four compelling questions. Then, when she answers the questions, listen and remember her responses. If you pay close enough attention, you will then ask the next good question and the next one. Ask at least 4 good questions before you start in on the details of your life.

Attend a Wedding; Ask Her to Dance

The next time you’re at a wedding, consider the truth of the situation: Many women do fantasize about their wedding day starting from when they’re young girls with Bridal Barbie. As such, many women really are just waiting around for their prince to ask them to dance at the most romantic of beginnings: a Wedding. So, even if you’ve been blessed with two left feet, offer to step on her toes for her. You’d be surprised at how few girls will refuse a dance at a wedding.

Chocolates

If you already have a fairly established repoire with a young lady whom you fancy, you might consider a creative twist on an old traditional favorite. Bring her some chocolates at work or at her home. Then ask if you could share one together. If so, you have your ready-made conversation: What kind of chocolate does she prefer? Does she prefer chocolate with or without nuts, etc? If nothing else, she’ll remember you as ‘sweet’ (and maybe she will share this fact with her cute friends).

Borrow SomethingReturn it With Interest

If you see that special someone on a fairly regular basis, try borrowing something from hera pencil, a pen, or (as above) if she is enjoying some candy or chocolates, ask for a one. Then, later, put together a package of whatever item you have borrowed, making sure that it is beautifully presented, and then attach a thank-you note (that might also have your phone number). If she doesn’t take you up on the offer, she will definitely remember you as thoughtfuland she’ll never hesitate to let you borrow something in the future!

Will You Be My Valentine?

Only use this tactic when it is NO WHERE NEAR VALENTINE’S DAY! In June, July, August, or early Fall, ask her if she will be your Valentine. If you work together, maybe make her a hand-made Valentine’s Day card and deliver it to her desk. (Something light-hearted and fun-loving as opposed to romantic and heavy-handed would be best.) She will be flattered at how thoughtful and amusing you are, and she will probably keep your keepsakeand she might even take you up on the offer!

Above all, never engage in any pick-up strategies that are too complicated or high pressure. No one likes to feel that they are being toyed with, strong-armed, or tricked into something. Follow her lead, and if she doesn’t seem to be biting, either throw her back in the water, or move on to another tactic. But never burn any bridges; if she doesn’t warm up to you, just wish her well and move on. (After all, she might have cute friends that would enjoy your creativity.) Remember, as best as you can, smile, laugh, relax. Smiles and laughter, as we all know, are infectious.