For most guys, Valentine’s Day is the most fake and meaningless holiday on the calendar, but for girls, it’s a much different story. Even if your girlfriend says she doesn’t care about what you do for her on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. This is because all of her friends will tell her later in the week how good their boyfriends were to them, and if your girlfriend has nothing positive to say, then she’ll have something to knock you about. If however, you come through on Valentine’s Day and swoop her off her feet, you’ll definitely earn some bonus points. Part of swooping her off her feet on Valentine’s Day involves buying her a great gift. If you’re researching the perfect gift for your girlfriend, make sure you don’t get her any of the following.

1. Cash
There’s nothing more impersonal than giving cash as a gift. Cash is just the least thoughtful gift you can get for someone else and for Valentine’s Day, it’s even less thoughtful. If you’ve dated a girl long enough to call her your girlfriend, you should know what will push her buttons and make her happy. If the best idea you can think of is cash, you better do some more brainstorming.

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2. Clothing That Doesn’t Fit Her Body Or Style
This is a big one for several different reasons. If you buy something too big, she might get the impression that you think she is fat, which is the last thing you ever want to do. If you buy something too small, she might feel fat because she doesn’t fit. Again, this will just bring you headaches. The next reason why you should avoid buying her clothes is that she might feel obligated to wear something she hates, just because you bought it for her. The best thing to do would be to avoid buying her clothing altogether and think of something else.

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3. Cheap Perfume
Much like buying her clothing she doesn’t like, if you buy her perfume she doesn’t like, she might feel obligated to use it. Choosing scents is a very personal decision that you should leave to her.

4. Fake Jewelry Or Fake Flowers
If you’re going to get a girl jewelry or flowers, make sure it’s the real thing. It might cost a bit more, but buying a knock off might be more of an insult than buying nothing at all. Your girlfriend might equate the quality of the things you buy her to the quality of the love you have for her. The logic is that if a guy really loves a girl, he’ll be more than willing to part with his money to make her happy. If you cheap out on anything, she might get the impression that she’s not worth the cost of the real thing.

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5. A Gag Gift
Girls take Valentine’s Day much more seriously than guys do. If you buy your girlfriend something like a blowup doll or rubber chicken, she’ll freak. Even if she has a sense of humor and understands your intentions, she might still be upset because you didn’t take things as seriously as you should have.

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6. Porn, Adult Toys
The problem with buying porn or adult toys for your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day is that gifts like these scream sex. Valentine’s Day is a day you should set aside for romance and love. Sure you can knock boots later at night, but during the day everything mushy and romantic should be on the top of your list.

7. Kitchen Appliances, Cleaning Equipment
If you get her a kitchen appliance or cleaning equipment, it’s like asking her to do chores for you. And nothing is less romantic than a new mop or toaster. So no matter how good the deals are at Sears, opt to buy something more personal and romantic.

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8. A Re-gift
Giving your girlfriend a re-gift is just about as bad as giving her cash. This is an especially bad idea because you probably don’t have anything too romantic to give her as a re-gift. Maybe you received a coffee maker for Christmas that you’re not too thrilled about. Would your girlfriend swoon on Valentine’s Day after receiving a box of chocolates and a coffee maker? Probably not. If you have a gift lying around that you don’t want, dump it off on eBay instead of on your girlfriend.

9. Anything Sent Via Email, Facebook, Or MySpace
Technology is great, but anything you send her via email, Facebook, or MySpace will not do anything to impress your girlfriend. What is she going to tell her mother? That she received an eBox of chocolates from you? Even if your girlfriend is a complete tech geek, she won’t get a kick out of something you only spent a few mouse clicks on.

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10. Anything Over 250$
The one exception to this rule is if you want to propose to your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, which would require a trip to the jewelry store that could easily cost more than 250$. Other than that, you shouldn’t buy your girlfriend anything too expensive. This is especially true if you’ve only been dating your girlfriend for a short while. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t buy her anything too expensive.

• She might take advantage of you in the future
• She might feel uncomfortable if she got you a much less expensive gift
• She might feel your feelings for her are overwhelmingly strong
• She might feel you want something from her after giving such a nice gift
• You’ll be out a lot of money

So don’t be a chump and find something meaningful for her without breaking the bank. You’ll be much better off if you do.

11. Gym Membership, Weight Loss Pills, Girdle
Anything that even remotely implies a girl is fat is a terrible gift for many reasons. The first reason is that most girls, no matter how skinny, have some insecurities about their weight. If you buy your girlfriend something like a gym membership, weight loss pills, or a girdle, her insecurities will only grow in enormity. And when your girlfriend has issues insecurities, who do you think she’s going to turn to? You! In addition to making your girlfriend feel more insecure, buying her something that might imply she is fat would flat out insult her. It’s just too much trouble to bear.

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12. Dinner At A Horrible Restaurant
When girls think about Valentine’s Day, their heads fill with images of flowers, chocolate, and dinner by candle light. One surefire way to shatter her little fantasy is to take her to a cut rate restaurant or fast food joint. If you take your girlfriend out to dinner, make sure you take her to a special place, and to put a little extra effort into it. Make reservations, familiarize yourself with the menu ahead of time, and dress nicely when you take her out. Doing these extra little things will make a big difference.

13. Nothing
This is by far the worst thing in the world you can get for your girlfriend. If you do absolutely nothing for her on Valentine’s Day, she’ll be crushed. If you’ve been in a struggling relationship, and do this, a breakup might be in your near future. Even if things are going well, failing to come up with anything on Valentine’s Day is a killer.

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